Final Memories

My papaw passed away today. 12:30pm according to my dad. My heart is sad, but I'm glad he is no longer suffering. I have no idea of the final status of his soul, but i trust the Lord and know how much he loved him. Here are a few pictures of my family with him...

Doing much needed weeding in Mamaw and Papaw's garden

PJ "trying not to sweat"

Hydrangea's reaching for the sky

45 years of love! Herb and Shriley

Just a few weeks ago, a well deserved medal of honor

Favorite memory - serving Papaw

Papaw used to call Peter "Punjab"

Bye Papaw. I'll miss you. Thanks for the memories. You were a hero to many. May your soul find rest.

On Death and Dying

One of the greatest fears that people have is dying. I guess it's because there is a fear of the unknown or of pain and suffering. It could be because there's a fear that you might not be remembered or worry about what will happen to the people you leave behind. But for me, I feel that there is no fear in death because I know Jesus. I know that I'll live with him forever and my soul rejoices at that thought.  At the same time, I must confess that I do have a fear. I fear the sadness I will feel when someone I know dies with out knowing Jesus. I fear that I didn't do enough, say enough, call enough, explain enough. 

I sat at my Papaw's bed-side today. I watched his chest rise and fall from labored breathing. I saw his half swollen body from lymph nodes that have blown up as a result of the cancer eating away at his lungs and now everything else. I heard his voice, once strong and clear, now quiet and slow. Part of me wants to pray, "Lord end his suffering and take him home" but I'm then reminded that I'm not sure where home is for him. 

My papaw is or at least was, a strong yet stubborn man. He was a 2nd Lieutenant in the Army during WWII. He lost his leg during that war. I know he knows about pain and suffering. Something, a long time ago, turned him away from God and he hasn't wanted to turn back. Lately though, there have been glimmers of hope. I guess the reality of death does that. He allowed the Hospice nurse to pray with him a month ago and yesterday he allowed Mamaw to call a minister. He's thanked me for praying for him. All glimmers of hope. I'm a firm believer that no matter when people come to faith in Jesus, God celebrates them and welcomes them home...but will Papaw come to faith? 

I don't know. I hope so. I pray everyday that he would. I asked God today that if answered any prayer today that it would be to save my Papaw. I'm gently reminded that God wants him, loves him, and has made himself real to him, but it's up to Papaw to accept him. 

There is something about death and dying that makes you think. I think if I could do things over, I would have asked more questions, listened to more stories and called more often. However I can't live with if onlys. I can only do things differently from here. I've dealt with a lot of death this year. Death of a loved one, a relationship, a friendship and the death of hopes and dreams. None of these have been easy. When I think I am done mourning, I realize I'm not. But I realize that with death comes life. At least in terms of the Kingdom. 

As I held Papaw's hand today and ran my fingers through his hair I prayed. I prayed that he would come to know Jesus so that even in death, he would find life.  Please join me in prayer.

the last 30 days...

It's been a month since I left for Poland. I haven't really blogged since. There's been too much, I hadn't figured out how to narrow it all down.  While in Poland I was gone from my room from 8am - 11pm. Once I walked into the hostel my main objective was sleep, so sorry about the absence of my presence on the internet.
Now I'm back. I've never been good at consistency anyway so I'm sure no one was shocked that I was gone. But I do need to process a lot and will give a brief rundown over my last month. It's been...well, a lot. In the last 30 days I've...

Spent 13 days in Poland at IFES's World Assembly where I met people from 152 nations, performed on stage 3 times, coached a group of 5 students from around the world in performing scripture, ate the most amazing Peirogies, Loty (ice cream), Keilbasa and Chocolate filled pastries ever and made some good friends in the process.

My students!! I coached them in performing Psalm 145...they did awesome

 

Ice Cream at it's best..so light and fluffy!

My small group representing 10 different Countries (2 are missing from the pic)

My new friend Lilit from Armenia...I miss her!!

Oh Peirogies how I miss you!!

Thank you Jesus for such good food!

Breaded Keilbasa...sorry all you vegetarian, your missing out!

Performing Mark 12 with Daniel Jones

Once I landed back in the good ol USofA I haven't stopped. I had a few days to get over jet lag but then I had 3 days of team meetings, attended my friends Martin and Artina's wedding (where my friends and I took advantage of the pretty scenery and did a photo shoot), found out that I made a major mistake on my funding accounting tool and was at a much lower percentage than I thought and so I received a paycut and was reduced to 30 hours, oh and school starts Wednesday so I've been working like crazy trying to prepare for all that. BUT I've gotten to sit at Jesus's feet a lot and I'm trying to take it all in and process. I know I've been a stranger, but perhaps now you know why...

So in love!!

Dana took this pic of me in our "photo shoot"...I'm so contemplative...

Full

These last few days have been full. Full of meeting people from around the world )Tonga, Sweden, Malawi, UAE, Finland, Guatemala, Korea, Costa Rico, China, etc). Full of stories of students and staff who risk everything for the sake of rehearsal. Full of culture and beauty. Full of rehearsals. Full of good food...Full. It's beautiful here. Poland is rich in culture, wonderful folklore stories, cathedrals, Basillica's and castles. Every day I walk to the main square and discover new things along the way. I'm loving every moment of my time. My team is amazing and I love spending time with them. The people that I am meeting each have a story. God is moving my heart to a deeper place of prayer for the nations. It is good to be here.
I don't have a lot of free time , that's why you haven't really heard from me, and my writing isn't super thoughtful right now. However the day before the student portion began Kim and I took a taxi to the Salt Miines in Wieliczka...fascinating! Here are a few pictures. More to come...

In front of the castle in Krakow

The walls of the salt mines are all salt...we went down about 450 ft.

A salt carving of the Last Supper

Traditional Polish Folk Dresses

A street in Wieliczka

A beautiful church in Wieliczka...I took this picture through the window because the church was closed to visitors...not too bad :)

The end of a very long day...

25 hours later I made it. I had no movies on my flight from Chicago to Frankfurt (I shouldn't say none, they showed "Prom" a total high school flick...seriously!?). Kim and I ended up on different flights. I had the "privilege" of sitting in between two very opinionated little old men on my flight to Krakow who argued over me where I needed to visit the most. Needless to say I got no nap in on that flight.
Over all it was a good trip and I learned that I can fly internationally all by myself :)

I took a few pictures, but I'm on Kim's computer so I'll add them later. She and I did eventually meet up here and took a walk of the city. Very beautiful. I can't wait to show you...tomorrow perhaps

still waiting...

Sooo.....It's 5:45 and I am still sitting in the airport. If you remember from my last post, my flight was supposed to be at 5:15pm. Well, it wasn't. Why? Mechanical problems. Apparently a light came on indicating there is something wrong with the main cabin door...well then.
But God seems to be working things out...He's God, of course he is! My good friend Kim and I were supposed to be on the same connection flight from Chicago - Munich - Krakow. I thought for a moment that now we would both be flying separately, but she just called and said her flight is delayed as well. We are both re-booked on a flight to Chicago - Frankfurt - Krakow. So, in the end it's all working out.

Since I've been here waiting a few, uh, interesting things have happened.
1. My bag was 10 over weight. I checked online and I swear it said 60lbs and not 50lbs but oh well. I got a new rolling laptop bag out of it...which I can hopefully expense
2. The guy sitting across from me is a little drunk. I know this because of the way he was acting and by the fact that he LOUDLY announced that he was drunk off his a**. And then proceeded to say that not all black people look alike...Really sir? Really?

But now I am boarding...YEAH!!!

Poland...

Today at 5:15pm I'll board a plane in San Antonio, TX to head to Krakow, Poland. I'll be there from July 22-August 3 participating in the IFES World Assembly.
To say that I am excited is an understatement. Thrilled, stoked, elated, estactic, overjoyed, delighted, euphric...maybe these begin to grasp how I feel. Here's 5 reason's why...(in no particular order)
1. I'll be joining staff from around the world - 154 countries will be represented...just a little taste of heaven!
2. Being on the Theater team is a dream come true and an on-ramp for getting to do theater at Urbana
3. My grandmother is from Poland, we think my relatives might actually be from the city I am going to.  There's just something about visiting a place where your ancestors walked, ate, lived and did life.
4. It's been a long time since I've gotten out of the country, I've been longing for an international trip. And the fact that it's high of 70's there makes it even better!
5. It's a chance to hear from God in a new and fresh way and context.

Read more about the World Assembly and what we'll be doing! I'll be sure to blog and post pictures when ever I have internet...really, I'm gonna try to blog, really I am :)