There's Something About Love...

L - is for the way you look at me
O - is for the only one I see
V - is very very extraordinary
E - is even more than any one that I adore
For some time this Nate King Cole song has been a favorite of mine. I can't remember which movie made me first fall for it, but I know it was some cheesy romantic comedy.
There is something to be said about love. What is it really - a feeling, a choice, an action, all of the above. An experience, a journey, something we all long for. Something to give and receive. A word you speak, actions you take, emotions you feel, commitments and covenants you make. Love is a four letter word that has more definitions, side-affects and consequences than any other word. There's just something about love.

I was at a wedding over the 4th of July weekend. I love weddings. I also, well, not hate them because hate is a strong word, but maybe, well, hate them.  But mostly I love them. I love to see a groom standing in front anticipating his bride walking through the door. I love watching the bride walk down the aisle on her fathers arm. I love the beauty of seeing bride and groom make there vows and become one before God. I love the kiss, the celebrating, the food, the dancing and the cake. I love it.
What I hate is when it's a wedding that I'm not thrilled about or when it's over the top and people spend too much money on the decorations and forget to invite Jesus into it. And mostly I hate the way my heart twists in a tug of war of being overly ecstatic for the couple before me and aching for it to one day be me standing there. But like I said before, I mostly love them.

And I loved the wedding I was at last weekend. I loved it because they were friends of mine. I loved it because it a simple and beautiful ceremony. I loved it because of the way they honored God. I loved it because of the way they stood before each other is obvious delightful love. But mostly I loved it because I knew James' story and for me it was a reminder that one relationship not working out and waiting on the Lord, in the end, is totally worth it. God knows best. I saw that at this wedding. Had it been 3 years ago at a wedding that could have happened, I would have felt differently. I might still have gone because of friendship, but I wouldn't have been happy to see the wedding. This was it though. James and Katie are together because they waited on the Lord. It gives me hope. Theirs is a love that is real. It's not with out struggle, or conflict but it is real. It came on the heels of heartache and tears from past losses which now fade into the distance.

Sometimes my heart still aches and longs for what was lost with him. It's not so much the man but the dream. Sometimes I chastise myself for feeling that way.  But I'm a woman who loves deeply, passionately and falls hard. And loss is loss. It hurts. It sucks. But it's, in a weird way, worth it.

Life, true life, only comes after death.  The death of one relationship is the only way to give birth to another. Do I know when that day is coming? No. Will it come in the form, fashion and manner I desire? I have no idea. But I know that whatever it is, it will be worth it. That, I was reminded of on Saturday June 2 and I watch my friend James' eyes light up as his bride walked down the aisle.

Oh, and I look good that day. My friends and I we looked real good.