Reality and Lent

As I sit in Panera Bread sipping a hot chai latte and eating a cinnamon crunch bagel with hazelnut cream cheese, I am struck with a thought..."I just ate someone's daily wage." It's true. More than 1/2 of the worlds population lives on less than $2.50 a day. That's $17.50 a week. That's about what my friend Stefanie and I spent on lunch today, and we were excited that it was so cheap. 

The reality of our world is difficult to stomach sometimes. I take what I have for granted. Now I'm not saying that God is looking down on me and shaking his head in disgust at my enjoyment of food and drink, but I do think that he desires me to use my resources wisely and to remember the poor. 

This week marks the beginning of the holiest season in the liturgical year. Lent is a time of fasting, repenting, self-examination, anticipation, engagement, and letting go. It's the 40 day period between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday. As a way of participating in Lent I'll be going through World Vision's Relentless Acts of Justice. 

Today we were challenged to list our luxuries in a few different categories...
•    Money
•    Health
•    Disease
•    Faith
•    Freedom
•    Education  
The challenge was to list 20-40 ways we are privileged in these ways. Here's some of what I came up with

• Money - have enough money in my checking account to: pay my rent, utilities bill, cell phone bill, groceries, gas, car insurance, sponsor a child through world vision, give to 5 IV staff workers, go out to eat a few times or buy something new in a month. I have both a checking and a savings account that both have some money in it. I own a car, cell phone, computer, i-pod, camera, gps, a closet (and draws) full of clothes, shoes, a house in Tampa and lots of furniture. 
• Health/Disease - I have health insurance. I can go to the doctor whenever I need to. I have a dentist, eye doctor and family practice doctor that all take my insurance. I've never been hospitalized for more than a bad case of the flu and to get my tonsils out. I've been to the emergency room only 3 x's for a broken collar bone (age 3), a fractured wrist (age 13) and a broken hand (age 32) - nothing major. I've never been diagnosed with anything more than seasonal allergies and lactose intolerance.When I partially tore my ACL I was treated and sent to PT. None of my immediate family has been diagnosed with a life threatening disease. My mom was healed from a pituitary tumor and had both me and my brother. 
• Faith - I was raised in a religious home, had a faith background since I was born, have the freedom to worship freely anytime/anywhere I choose, I can openly share my faith with out risk of punishment, persecution or death. My parents/family accept my faith, my parents follow Jesus. I work freely for a faith based organization. I can go to church with out having to hide or fear. I know Jesus, I have hope!!
• Freedom - as a woman I am free to have any job that I want, I can go places by myself, I can shop where ever I want, I can drive and take myself places. I have a car. I can travel freely. Jesus has set me free from sin. I am treated fairly and am not imprisoned - physically or mentally.
• Education - I have a college degree, I went to private pre-school, elementary, middle-school, high school and college. I have taken master level classes. I can read, write, think strategically, communicate clearly. I can teach others. I can go back to school full time if I choose

This exercise was humbling. I am privileged. I have been blessed. I have so much. I have more than I really need. There is so much more I could list. I am grateful and humbled. 

 

Lord, help me not to take any of these things for granted. Help me not to hold onto any of them selfishly, but realize that each of these things belong to you. Help me to use the resources that you bless me with to bless others and help make this world right again.

Amen...

Dear Anthropologie...

Imagine me in a kitchen...

Dear Anthropologie,

My friend Karisse and I really love your store. We enjoy pretty much everything we've ever seen in there. But alas, we always come out empty handed. Why oh why must you be so expensive? If you were just a tad bit less expensive my green dresser would be oh so chic with the fabulous knobs that you sell. Please, please have a ridiculous sale, 75% off would be nice. Or maybe a Group On?? I think that could be a tremendously wonderful idea. I have many more ideas if you are interested. But mainly, I'm just asking you to remember the little people...those of us that might have small budgets but fabulous taste. 

Sincerely,

Michelle

I'm dreaming of drinking tea from this fabulous cup!

Oh how chic my dresser would be with these knobs!

These were some of Karisse's favorites

Come on, can't they please be on sale

Slightly Addicted...

Confession. I have an addiction. I can't stop. I can't help it. I am officially addicted to the Hunger Games series. These books are fascinating, intriguing, disturbing and addicting.  These books have made me laugh, scream, cry and go crazy with wondering what's going to happen.
My Uncle gave me the trilogy for Christmas and I have to admit that when I read the back of the first book, The Hunger Games, I thought to myself, "really Uncle Chuck? You must not know me at all." I didn't think I would read them, much less not be able to put them down.
I am 3/4 of the way through the second book, Catching Fire. I had to make myself take a short break. When reading book 1 I found myself so engrossed that I almost skipped our super bowl party to finish the book. My roommate, Muni, laughed at me. Last night there was no more laughing as I gave her the Hunger Games and found herself so deeply engrossed that she read 3/4 of the book in on sitting. Today as she was on her way out the door and saw that she had 10 more minutes  I found her sitting on the couch, and you guessed it, reading! Addicting I tell you.
Ok, now it's time for me to get another quick fix. I think I can finish it before Bible Study Fellowship tonight. I won't be late to that, I promise!

Savoring the Sabbath

We sat for 3 hours on our back porch today. Sipping cool water while we bathed in the warm sunlight as a cool breeze danced across our faces. We laughed heartily and loudly as we reminisced telling stories of friends and as we try to decide which of the Oscar nominated movies we would watch later in the evening.
Sabbath, a gift to savor and delight in. It's one of the greatest things that I learned from my time in Vancouver that I have implemented into my life.  Sabbath, God's gift to us. A day we are called to cease from striving, cease from accomplishment, a day where we cease trying to be God.  It's a day to worship, be in community and feast.
My first class at Regent during Spring session was Sabbath Keeping. I took it with a bit of hesitation for two reason, it was at 8am and I was on sabbatical ant the thought of having to catch the bus by 7:40am didn't sound very restful to me; and because I knew that I would be convicted by the fact that I wasn't currently keeping the Sabbath or at least not fully.  Well, a week of waking at 7am to leave by 7:40am proved to be worth it. I learned so much. The teacher was good, the discussion was stimulating, but it was God's conviction and my implementation that made the class worth it.
I realize the beauty and the fullness of sabbath, when I wake up Monday morning feeling well rested.
I realize the beauty and the fullness of sabbath while I am worshiping in my car on the way to church, at church and as i come home from church. And it's not just the music that causes me to worship, it's the beauty that I see around me, the laughter of my friends, the prayers that we pray, the preaching of the word, the ways I see God in the big, and the small. In the grandness and simplicity of who He is and what he has done.  
I see the beauty and fullness of sabbath in community with family and friends both near and far. What a delight it is to laugh and talk with people that I love. It brings me so much joy to just sit for hours and not have to worry about rushing off to do something else. 
I see the beauty and the fullness of sabbath in the ways that I try to eat more simply during the week so that what I eat for sabbath seems that much more like a feast. Some, dare I say most people that I know, hate or at least don't really like cooking. Not me. I love it. There are moments during the week when I cook that I savor every bite that I take because it's so delightful. I'm trying to make sabbath that and more.
Sabbath, a day to savor, to delight in, to look forward to.  Sabbath, a day that teaches us to let God fully be in control. Sabbath, a day to rest, to pray and to play. Sabbath, a day in which we cease from striving and productivity in order to be productive the other 6 days of the week. Sabbath, a day created by God for us. He took a sabbath and commands us to take one too.

Ahhhh......simply savor Sabbath...I think I'll go take a nap now.

The Song that's blasting in my office currently

Look at me, 2 posts in a row! I've discovered that I can type in pretty colors. This makes me happy. Right before Christmas I posted about waiting. In the season of Advent we wait upon the Lord. But waiting isn't just during advent. Although it would be nice if it was just one season of waiting. But the truth is that waiting comes in different seasons in all different ways. My friend Maritza recently sent me a fb message about a song that I needed to check out. It was too good not to share. Here are the lyrics...

While I'm Waiting

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

-While I'm Waiting by John Waller

And of course the slightly cheesy Youtube Video to go along :)

A New Perspective

One again I've been an absentee blogger. I made a goal of blogging once a week...uh yeah, that obviously hasn't happened. I was all ready to sit down and vent out my thoughts to the world wide web last week about a situation that I was, at first, not so happy about. But in the end, I'm glad that I didn't. You see, since then I've had a change in perspective. I realized that I was holding on to a lot of anger. Now, I don't usually consider myself to be an angry person. Normally I'm not, but I can be, and lately I was. I was mad. I was angry. I was sitting in total self entitlement. Yuck. Anyway, thank God for his grace and for friends who pray. There is something about knowing that there are people who are willing, in a loving way, to really take a chance and speak truth. I'm just glad I was open enough to hear it.
And hear it I did. I mean, I'm still processing a bunch of it, but I heard it, took it to Jesus, and decided that it was time to get a new perspective.
You know those Claritin commercials where the foggy lens is lifted and suddenly life is "Claritin Clear". I feel a little like that. Like the fogginess is finally lifting and I can see clearly now. Hmmm, that kinda makes me want to sing along to the Calypso music that is suddenly running through my head..."I can see clearly now the rain is gone...." I'll spare you the rest, haha!
Any way, I am seeing how God has been at work, how he's been with me, how he knows what he's doing. I still don't get it all, I'm not sure if or when I will, but I'm glad to see things differently because I was tired of standing still shaking my fist towards the heavens. It's really not becoming of me.
My friend Shiloh posted this on my fb wall. It's long, but I LOVED it. If you need some new perspective, you'll love it too...

Charlie and Lola - Shiny Red Shoes

Blessed Be Your Name

The words of a well know worship song goes like this...

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your nameOn the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, LordStill I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

It's been a while since I last blogged. 

Everyday I've thought about it, but then something would come up and I would get 

distracted or something.  I guess if I'm really honest it's because I've been in a bit of a funk. 

It's been a tough season for me. I've had a lot of disappointments, a lot of heart break, 

lost a loved one, and have been angry at God quite a bit. Despite it all I am learning to 

still say,Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your glorious name. 

It's funny. Part of me wants to totally minimize my hurt because I realize that it's not as

bad as other people. At least I wasn't engaged or married, at least I didn't get my hand 

cut off, at least I didn't  lose my mom or dad, at least my brother is just moving to Cincinnati. 

But I realize that if I minimize  how I am feeling then I can't receive the maximum comfort 

that the Lord has for me. It's a delicate balance though. I don't want to wallow. 

I want to press in, go deep and move on. There are that I feel paralyzed to make a 

decision and then moments where I just want to do what seems easy, fun, or

exciting.  But mostly there are just moments where I don't want to make any decisions at all and 

just have someone else make them for me. Not really an option. So, I will choose to wait on the 

Lord, who is close to the broken hearted and who knows the plans he has for me. I will choose to

sing Blessed be your name in the good time and the shitty times. I will stay connected with Jesus,

committed to community and challenged for the greater cause of the Kingdom. 

For the next 20 days I am praying and fasting. Join me if you like. 

It's a new season, it's a new day.